But literally learned in the same visit I'm going to get tested again obviously in the next few months and for now I'm going to live my life as if I do have it just to be extra careful max's wife who I'll be calling sherry. From now on accompanied me for support her own appointment is in two days well I had the first long sit down with the soon-to-be ex-wife we had an understandably explosive sit-down earlier in the week and we've talked sparsely in between I left this out. But I've been calling her at my son's bedtime to say good night to him at the moment he is under the impression that I'm just working a lot planning on telling him the truth in the following days or truth good enough for a six-year-old. Reconciliation was never on the table she knew this and didn't try to push it which I was thankful for her reasons shouldn't concern me they can't benefit me in any way but giving myself two emotions for the moment I asked her to be truthful. And tell me how long it's been going on and why or if I did something that would push her to this she looks like she's been crying on and off but she was fairly calm and talking with me about it and by how candid.
She was I can tell it's probably the truth and she's somewhat relieved to be talking about it in a weird and effed up way long story short she's the instigator she didn't say as much. But she's in love with him and they aren't together because obviously I'm learning now that I'm basically the equivalent of one of those sham wives the gay men would marry so they could seem normal that's pretty crushing she insists she loved and loves me. But I don't believe it nor does it matter anymore my life for the past six years was a lie probably just a cover for this bs I don't know if I even know what real love romantic love looks like and that's got me more. Than a little effed up she looked hurt seeing me hurt but I don't know if it was real not that it matters. Anyway the important thing we discussed was my stepson and what we will be doing moving forward before I could say anything she told me she wouldn't oppose something like weekend custody and would sign that in the divorce I.
Honestly think she is extremely remorseful about how this affects him a lot of telling me I am his father his only dad and taking me away from him would be so damaging we're going to tell him the bad news in a few days. Tomorrow or today whenever I post this I'll be taking him to the zoo I was thinking of telling him after that but he loves this zoo and I really don't want him thinking of his parents divorce every time he sees it it's tearing me. Up having to think of a way best to scar my child for life I'm thinking about how to make it positive like telling him how in my new apartment he'll have a new room and he can paint it how he wants and help me. Get stuff for it make him feel like he and I are a team like a way to make this terrible crap fun we aren't wealthy so. Basically we're just going to keep what we have in our already separate accounts divide up the remainder of our utility bills in a fair way and just get the divorce we discussed meeting at the courthouse and having me file a divorce right in front.