However I also noticed when looking in on this that sherry actually has some of my son's hand-me-down baby furniture what really brought home just how absolutely effed up this situation really is when I went to leave we gave a parting hug that went on. For a few minutes no words got a kiss on the cheek and I kind of rode that high for the rest of the night the enormity of my life right. Now I can't even fully grasp I didn't think it was possible to be filled with such hate and anger while also feeling that fluffy. Update 5. I've sort of entered the fleeing stage personally I don't know whether it's the selfish brain talking or the rational one but I'm beginning to have doubts about remaining a father I want to be a good man I want to believe I have the strength.
And resolve to raise another man's child I mean I did have that resolve before this betrayal though it's worked parts of me and changed me a lot in such a short time I'm becoming unable to wear a positive face about this I've said it. Before I'm well aware of my own genetic problems and because of this I've always been even from my hormonal rampage teenage years made it a point to do all I could to not have a child I was responsible careful and thoughtful I was never. Reckless my soon-to-be ex on the other hand was apparently wild took no precautions and as a result had a child so at times it feels like I'm going to spend my life tied down tied to one spot. Because of someone else's reckless behavior I had no problems signing on to be a dad as you've heard I'm quite proud and happy with the time I've been in my stepson's life let's be honest with ourselves for a minute we all know what's coming. Next the sooner bx is probably going to use him and my love of him to twist my arm and bend me to whatever she wants me to do I'll never be able to move where I want to live I'll never be able to live.
My life as I want to live it this horrible woman will have me on strings and I will be dancing to whatever tune she wants me to if he had been my biological son I would fight for sole custody of him and throw my. Entire weight into ruining her character but as he is not my son there's no way in hell I will have these rights perhaps this is a passing feeling perhaps I'll feel differently. Tomorrow but I'm just venting raw at the moment honestly if there was a chance I could get full custody I'd probably take it this is the worst conversation I've ever had playing out in my head over and over again in the process of writing. This I've gone back and forth between wanting to run and hating myself over the thought in this complete hell sherry has been my constant partner we have decided against the will of some of the commenters and even against our own logic that we are. Now a couple we will not be acting outwardly we are going to keep everything quiet until we're sure it's working we're both adults and we both live alone so it shouldn't be some crazy jumble to keep it secret ironically we're behaving as.