Snoop but so many people on here told me I ought to and not wanting to be accused of not taking the advice I asked for I decided to go through with it and check her emails with the way she was acting this morning I. Had fewer reasons to be suspicious but at this point what the heck and did just that the level of disgust hatred and anger I feel cannot be expressed right and there will be a divorce there was one email entitled yummy and upon opening it. I found a picture of her cousin with semen on his face the back and forths are him describing to her as encounters with random gay men they make a reference to past sexual encounters they've had together complete with one picture of a strap-on a. Sex toy captioned I still have our old friend then I read some absolutely disgusting filth talk between them where she is behaving in a very dominating way and insulting his penis size looking at the dates I realized that this was from a year ago. As I continue to read I'm able to figure out at least from how it reads that they used to hook up frequently but stopped after we got married we were together for several years before we got married.
Later she starts using the I'm married excuse but it's reading like that's just a kink of his to be told he can't touch her anymore which he probably does I'm raising her freaking kid and she does this to me I've wasted the last six. Years changing my work schedule and not taking better paying jobs because I need hours when I'm able to watch him I went outside and sat on the front porch called my brother over and after explaining to him the entire situation asked him to take. My gun from me for the time being I'm not a violent person I never have been but in the state I'm in. Now I'm fluctuating between wanting to do crazy stuff I'm not going to but I feel like I'm headed for a breakdown and I can't trust I'll behave rationally after this I'm packing up my clothes and checking into a hotel these conversations have all been. Printed I've sent copies to myself and when I have time I'm digging for more dirt bought a pack of cigarettes stopped smoking four years ago enjoy I have to make an appointment at some std clinic.
Because according to these freaking vile back and forths a part of this thing is having unprotected sex with these men my soon-to-be ex-wife has a device and as such I've never once and all these years worn protection with her. So now I apparently have months of biting my freaking nails to look forward to as I understand aids tests take months I know his work schedule roughly enough because I used to work for the same company he does. So maybe before checking in and composing myself I'm just going to drive down to see his wife evidence in hand there's no fixing this there's no therapy no hope nothing positive and I don't care to even entertain an apology I'm divorcing the and she. Will get nothing I hate life right now I don't feel depressed or sad I haven't cried I just have this hot ball of rage in my chest that the cigarettes only briefly cool I can't be near her or him I know I said I'm. Not violent but man I really want to beat the piss out of both of them.