So a lot has happened since I last posted I'm sorry that I haven't answered anyone or given an. Update. To be honest I haven't had time to even read all the responses there are so many of them a lot has happened I wish I could take credit for it but the truth is. I have been a pathetic sobbing mess since I last posted I was sort of obsessed about my wife's chats with her friends a lot of insane and hurtful things were said in these chats what got me. In the end though was when my soon-to-be ex-wife described in very harsh language how her marriage and especially her children were a burden in her life that they had prevented her from being a successful woman living up to her full potential she described how.
I as her husband was an oppressive piece of crap that held her back from living a good life her family was the reason she didn't have a successful career loads of casual sex etcetera. I just broke I couldn't handle it I spent the next 30-ish hours reading and rereading every line of emails and chats I had over and over and over again on reflection she didn't provide any details on how we actually were burdens or oppressors it was just the blanket statements no examples or supporting arguments in fact. I have never stopped her from doing anything I pay for almost everything the minimum wage she collects from her part-time job wouldn't be enough to support anyone actually. I have supported her hobbies dreams and aspirations even when she did stupid effing class after stupid effing class that she would always drop out of halfway through I made sure to show her I love her every day and appreciate everything she did for her family. I would romance her take her out be there for her whenever she needed me I mean if this is oppression I would like some oppressions please anyways.
I digress at some point reading I just passed out when I got up my three best friends were in the kitchen with my dad making dinner I've known these guys since. I was a child let's call them mike bob and frank my dad had invited them and brought them up to speed I soon broke down again and I was completely out of it until friday evening mike is ex-military he lost his left arm below the elbow we were actually all there for him when he was in recovery and his wife bailed on him luckily they didn't have any children mike has adopted two kids and got a very nice girlfriend a few years ago so he did okay he set up a zoom call with his counselor that helped him when he went through recovery he helped me a lot to understand what was happening with me emotionally even though he specialized in amputees he told me most wives. Sadly bail when their husbands are injured and his stories and examples helped me a lot actually he asked me to see my soul identity spiritual self as having a large part of it tied to my marriage and role as a husband that part is dead. Now and just like an amputee will suffer phantom pain and missing a limb I will feel phantom pain from the dead part of my identity we spent hours talking and I have been steadily improving since bob is an executive in some I.t security company he never talks much about his job. I don't actually know what he does but he is very well off bob called some law firm that is on a retainer for the company and sunday morning.