Now I'm googling divorce lawyers crying my soul out I think I've been in shock but the pain has hit me hard since I got to my parents house. I just can't make any sense of it it just gives me so much pain to read their chats and interact with her I have only responded twice to her messages the first it doesn't matter what you say. I don't know who you are you're not my wife my wife would never destroy my heart and soul while smiling we will get a divorce. I don't care what you say or what you want you have no influence or right to demand anything for me ever again we are over the second time like I said you are not my wife. I don't know you my wife would never condemn our children to the pain and suffering of growing up in a broken home you whoever you are seem to be proud of what you have done my wife was loving caring considerate my best friend you are a self-obsessed self-absorbent abomination the message is stopped after the last one the pain is absolutely unbearable at times.
I wish this never happened I wish I could get back with her like before but I just can't do that to myself this is the worst christmas ever. I couldn't help myself but I explained to the kids that mommy doesn't want to be a family anymore she wants to be with other men and that we will get divorced they are naturally distraught luckily my mom and dad are here to help they shower them with love and affection well. I am an absolute mess I will try to get back on my feet for my kid's sake but I am not going back to her ever. I wish I waited until after christmas so I could get them straight into counseling I don't know what happened I just blurted it out when they asked when their mother was coming home. I would never be able to look at myself in the mirror if I went back to her the level of disrespect and callousness in her behavior is unforgivable.
I am lost I just don't get it why is it that she expects she can demand anything for me at this point is she mentally ill or something sorry about the incoherent rant. I just needed to get this out. Edit: I found out that I am okay with the monitoring. I talked to a lawyer that a friend knows the phone is mine and the subscription is mine my wife is using it but I own it and the subscription so I'm okay it's not illegal to monitor my own equipment. Update.