She thought it clearly without apology, without the old reflex of guilt or the old fear that wanting something this specific and this ordinary was somehow too small for her ambition or too large for her caution. She wanted this every day. She told Andre that night on the porch after Maya was in bed, which was the place where the truest things had always been said between them. I want this everyday, she said. I want to come home to this.
Not as the thing I earn by doing the New York work first, as the thing that's mine, she looked at him. I want to live next door or not next door specifically, but I want to be in the same life. Maya's words. He looked at her carefully. You have 4 months left.
I know. I'm not asking you to cut it short. I know you're not. I'm not saying cut it short. She held his gaze.
I'm saying that when it's done, I'm done running the distance. I want what's here. He was quiet for a moment. Something was moving in his expression, not the carefully managed version of himself. The real one, the one that arrived first before the composed version could catch up.
What does that look like? He asked practically. It looks like me calling Helen on Monday and telling her that phase two is my last phase. That after this project closes, I'm taking everything I've learned and I'm bringing it home. She paused.
There's enough work in Atlanta for what I do. There are organizations here that need this kind of production leadership. I've been building my name for 18 months. I can bring it back. You've thought about this.
I've thought about this since December, she said. Since Maya asked me question 23, he blinked. What was question 23? Ask her, Clare said. She wrote the answer down.
He looked at her for a long time, long enough that she felt the full weight of his attention, which she had learned over the past year was not a casual thing. Andre Bennett paid attention the way he built things completely with intention missing nothing. Clare, he said. Yeah. When you come home, he stopped.
Start it over. When you come home, I want I need to say something I haven't said yet because I was waiting until you were standing in front of me and not four states away. Her heart was doing something specific. Say it, she said. I'm in love with you, he said simply, directly in the voice he used when he was reporting a fact about the world.