Something shifted in his voice when he spoke again. Not from careful to uncareful, but from managed to honest. I noticed, he said, you said his name in a way that was different from how you usually say names. And I noticed it and I did not enjoy noticing it. He paused.
And that's my thing to manage, not yours, because you didn't do anything wrong. She was at her kitchen table in Brooklyn with her coffee going cold. He's a a colleague. I believe you. I need you to hear that.
I hear it. Andre, look at me. She knew he couldn't see her. She said it anyway. He is a colleague.
That's it. That's the whole thing. A breath then. I know. His voice was quieter.
I know it is. I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm just being honest that I noticed because you told me to tell you when things cost something. She pressed her hand flat on the kitchen table. Yes, I did tell you that.
So, I'm telling you it cost something for about 30 seconds and then I decided to trust you, which took about 30 seconds, which means I'm currently at zero. A pause. I'm fine, Claire. She breathed. Let the breath out slowly.
I hate this part, she said quietly. This is the part where where it gets real, he said. Yeah, where it's not just missing each other. It's actually trusting each other without being able to see each other. He finished it.
That's the harder thing. Is it always going to feel like this? Probably, he said, for a while, a pause. But I'd rather feel this than feel nothing, which is what the last two years were. He let that sit.
Then you need to get to work. I need to get to work. She agreed. Call me tonight. I'll call you tonight.