Darius called Mama last week. Kesha said he didn't say anything directly, but he mentioned a woman named Clare at least four times in a 20-minute call. And Mama called me and I've been sitting with it for a week trying to figure out if I should say anything. Marcus looked through the windshield at the school building. She's a neighbor, he said.
Marcus Kesha, don't. Her voice cracked just slightly. Just the one time and then it was flat again. Don't do that thing where you say a technically true thing and let me fill in the rest. He was quiet.
She's a friend, he said. Right now she's a friend. Kesha was quiet for a long moment. Aaliyah has been gone 4 years, she said. And the name his wife's name said out loud in someone else's voice hit him the way it always hit him.
Like a door opening into cold air. Four years, Marcus. Nobody is telling you. Nobody is saying. She stopped.
Try it again. Mama wants me to say she's not okay with this. That it's too soon. That Darius needs stability, not confusion. Darius had dinner with her on Wednesday.
Marcus said he seemed pretty stable. Marcus, that's not She read his homework question and gave him the best answer I've heard from anyone about why the Montgomery bus boycott held together for over a year. He said his voice even. She asked him about his basketball team by name. She remembered every kid I'd ever mentioned.
She did the dishes without being asked. Silence on the line. I'm not replacing Aaliyah, Marcus said. That's not No one is replacing Aaliyah. And I need you to trust that I know the difference.
Kesha was quiet for so long he thought she might have put the phone down. Then she said very quietly, "Do you love her?" Marcus opened his mouth, closed it. "I don't know yet," he said. "But you might."
He didn't answer. Which was an answer. Kesha made a sound half sigh. Half something older and harder than a sigh. "I loved my sister," she said.
"I love you. I love Darius. And I just I need it to be right. I need whoever comes into his life to be right. So do I, Marcus said.