He pressed his mouth together hard every single morning. Sophie reached across the table. She put her hand over his. Third time now, Calvin thought. Third time she'd reached first.
She was learning the distance between them was something she could close. I'm not disappearing this time, she said. That's what I need you to hear. San Francisco is 4 hours by plane. I will be here for Thanksgiving.
I will be here for Christmas. We will have weekly calls, not texts. Calls and we will talk about real things, not just whether the weather is nice. She squeezed his hand. I am not the girl who left 6 years ago.
I don't know how to make you believe that except to just stay long enough that it becomes obvious. Robert looked at her hand over his. You said that before, he said. Before you went to Seattle. She flinched barely.
But Calvin saw it. "I know," she said. And I didn't follow through. That's on me. She held his gaze.
But dad, you didn't call. You didn't push. You just let me drift because you didn't want to need me. She said it without accusation, just as a fact. We both did this.
We both have to do it differently. Robert was quiet for a long moment. Then he said something that surprised Calvin. What do you need from me? He said, "To make it work this time.
What do you actually need?" Sophie stared at him. O' Calvin watched her face move through about four different emotions in two seconds surprise. Relief, grief, hope before it settled into something clear. Say it when you miss me, she said.
Don't make me guess. Don't wait until 11:00 at night and one heart scare to pick up the phone. Just say it when it's true. Robert nodded slowly. And I need you to let me take care of you sometimes, she said.
Not because I feel guilty, because I want to. You've been taking care of yourself and everyone else your entire life, and I need you to let me in. She paused. That's it. That's all I need.
Robert looked at her for a long time. Then he said, ""I can try."" Sophie exhaled. "That's enough," she said. "That's all I'm asking for." Calvin sat at that table for another hour.