A careful one. She's trying, Clare said. I've watched her with him and she's she's different. Less managed, less calculating. She laughs more.
A small pause. It's strange to watch, honestly. Like meeting a version of my sister that I thought only existed in theory. Is it good strange or bad strange? Good.
She said it like she was still deciding and had land. It's good. I think she finally found someone she doesn't have to perform for. She was quiet for a moment. I think she was always afraid that if she stopped performing, there would be nothing underneath worth staying for.
And Dennis is the first person who's convinced her otherwise. Marcus thought about that. You're generous with her, he said. Given everything. I've been working at it.
Clare looked at the river. She's still my sister. She's capable of things. I don't think she knew she was capable of. I didn't know that about myself 6 months ago either.
A pause. I'm trying to extend the same grace to her that I've been extending to myself. Marcus said, "That's harder. Much harder." She agreed.
I'm still working on it. She shifted on the swing, tucking her feet up further and leaned sideways so that her shoulder was against his arm. And they sat there like that, her weight against him. The river in front of them, the swing moving in small, slow arcs in the quiet, Marcus said. My father could last month Clare went still.
Not tense, just listening with her whole self. You never talk about him, she said carefully. I know. He looked at his hands. He left when I was 12, came back for about 8 months when I was 19, which was worse in some ways than him being gone, and then left again.
He paused. I heard from him twice in 20 years after that. Birthday cards the first two years, then nothing. What did he want? He's sick.
Something with his liver. He's in Nashville. Marcus turned his coffee cup. He wanted to know if I'd come see him. Silence.