He had thought about insurance. She asked about licensing for the business entity. He had looked into it. She asked about his first three clients and he named them without hesitation because he already knew exactly who would follow him. She sat back when they were done.
Looked at the notepad, looked at him. You're ready, she said. I didn't say that. The numbers say that you've been ready for 2 years. She paused.
You've been waiting for the fear to go away first. He sat with that. The specific accuracy of it. It doesn't go away first, she said. You go first.
And then it shrinks to the right size. He looked at the notepad, his handwriting, his numbers, the thing he'd been carrying quietly for 2 years, pulled into the light of a kitchen table on a Saturday afternoon, and examined without apology. I need to think about it. He said, "Okay, I'm not saying no. I know you're not."
She picked up her coffee, made a face. This is cold. It's been cold for 40 minutes. You kept asking questions because you had good answers. She got up to reheat it.
Then from the kitchen, for what it's worth, Whitaker and Associates has a good ring. He looked at the notepad at his name written at the top of a column of numbers. "I work alone," he said. Not anymore, she said. From the kitchen.
He sat very still with that sentence. Not anymore. Said so simply, so completely without drama. The way a fact is stated rather than a promise because it had already become true. He picked up the notepad, folded it, put it in his back pocket.
Maya found them at the kitchen table an hour later sharing the reheated coffee and arguing about whether the business needed a logo or if a logo was premature which told for nothing had just been decided but that the conversation had started in the way that real conversations that real conversations start not as an event but as a beginning. Maya looked at the notepad at her father at Clare at the two mugs. Are you planning something? She said your father might be starting his own company. Clare said.
Maya looked at Darius. The cleareyed look. Whitaker and associates. He stared at her. Did you hear that?
I was in the hallway. The hallway is not in this kitchen. The door was open. She sat down. You should do it.