The idea of his name on a van, his own contracts, the thing he'd almost done 3 years ago before Renee got sick, and the financial ground shifted beneath him. Clare went very still. What? I said, I'm thinking about it. Starting your own.
It's just an idea, Darius. That's not just an idea. That's a thing you've been sitting on. I've been sitting on it for a while. Yeah.
She leaned forward. Her whole attention had reorganized itself toward this. Tell me about it. And he did. For the first time out loud.
To another adult, he laid it out. The numbers he'd run, the client base he had built quietly over years of side jobs. The name he'd thought of, not Whitaker HVAC Solutions like he told Patterson at the fundraiser, which had been an improvisation, but something cleaner, the things he needed, the things that scared him. She listened without interrupting. When he finished, she said, "What's the thing that's held you back the longest?"
Timing. He said, "Is that true?" He thought about it. No fear of it failing, of it being something I wanted enough that losing it would. He stopped.
"You know what losing something that matters feels like?" She did know. That was the whole point. She did. Yes, she said quietly.
I do. So, you understand why I don't start things I can't afford to lose. I understand why that made sense before. She held his gaze. And I think you know it doesn't make the same sense anymore.
He looked at her. She looked back and in the specific quiet of that exchange, something passed between them that was not romantic and not dramatic, but was perhaps more important than either the mutual recognition of two people who had both been afraid and had both chosen to be here. "Anyway, run me the numbers," she said. "Claire, I'm a business owner. I understand the math.
Run me the numbers." He ran her the numbers on the back of a notepad at her kitchen table with her coffee going cold beside her because she kept forgetting to drink it while she was asking questions. Real questions. Practical questions. Questions that showed she'd been listening to him talk about his work for months.
What equipment he owned outright. What his material costs ran on average. What he needed in monthly to cover his fixed expenses. What he'd need in reserve to survive the first 6 months. She asked about insurance.