You're handling this better than I would. No, I'm not. I'm just handling it differently. We sat in comfortable silence, eating pizza and drinking beer, the TV still dark, the house still half empty. It felt normal.
It felt okay. It felt like maybe I would survive this after all. People are taking sides, David said eventually. Amanda and Tom invited you to dinner but didn't mention Rachel. Sarah stopped following Rachel on Instagram.
Even the book club is splitting. Team James versus team Rachel. There shouldn't be teams. This isn't a sport. It's human nature.
People need to categorize things. Decide who to support. And right now with the evidence you've provided, most people are categorizing you as the victim and Rachel as the villain. She's not a villain. She's just I stopped tried to find the right words.
She's just someone who made a lot of bad choices and is now facing the consequences. That's very mature of you. Maturity. I'm angry and hurt and betrayed, but I'm also trying not to become someone I don't recognize. Trying not to let this turn me bitter or vindictive or cruel.
Is that why you told everyone? To preserve your integrity? I told everyone. Because they deserve the truth. Because I was tired of Rachel controlling the narrative.
Because I stopped. Felt emotion rising in my throat. Because I needed people to know that I tried, that I was faithful and honest and did everything I was supposed to do. That when our marriage failed, it wasn't because I didn't fight for it. David didn't say anything, just sat with me in the silence.
Let me feel what I needed to feel without trying to fix it. You know what the worst part is? I said, "Finally, I still love her. Not the person she is, the person I thought she was. And I'm grieving someone who never really existed.
How up is that? " Pretty up, but also pretty normal. David grabbed another slice of pizza. You're mourning the death of your marriage and the death of your understanding of your wife. That's two losses at once. Give yourself permission to feel shitty about it.
I don't have time to feel shitty. I have to meet with HR Wednesday. Sign divorce papers Thursday. Figure out how to divide a life by Friday. Then feel shitty next week.
Schedule it. Put it in your calendar. Tuesday 2 p.m. Fall apart completely. Wednesday 2 p.m.
Put yourself back together. I almost smiled at that. You think it works that way? No. But you're going to try anyway because that's who you are.