You're a hero in your own story, Marcus. The knight who rescued the sad, neglected wife from her terrible husband. It's a nice narrative. Clean, simple, makes you feel good about someone else's spouse. He flinched at the language.
I didn't plan for this to happen. No one ever does, but it did happen. And you participated in it. And now you're trying to sell me a story where I'm somehow partially responsible for my wife's infidelity. I pulled out my phone, opened the photo album I'd created specifically for this meeting.
Let me show you something. I turned the phone to face him. On the screen was a text message thread between Rachel and me. Dated from May through November, the entire duration of her affair. Messages where I asked about her day, suggested date nights, sent her funny memes, told her I loved her.
Messages where she responded with one-word answers, declined invitations, said she was too tired or too busy or too stressed. This is what disconnected looks like in our marriage. Marcus, me trying and her pulling away, me suggesting therapy, and her saying we didn't need it. Me planning a 20th anniversary trip. We got married at 22, so year 12 was big for us and her saying she couldn't get time off work.
I swiped to another screenshot, except she could get time off work. She just wanted to spend it with you instead. He looked at the messages and something flickered across his face. Doubt maybe or recognition. Rachel told you what she needed you to hear to make herself the victim.
I continued, "She painted our marriage as dead so you wouldn't feel guilty about dancing on its grave. But look at those texts, Marcus. Look at me trying and her lying. And tell me again how I'm the one who checked out. People can be lonely even in relationships where the other person is trying, he said.
But his voice had lost its certainty. Sometimes trying isn't enough. You're right. Sometimes it's not. But you know what would have been enough?
Her telling me the truth. Her saying she was unhappy. That we needed to change something. That she was considering leaving. That would have been enough.
Instead. She lied and you helped her and now you're here trying to make me complicit in my own betrayal. He sat down his coffee cup with a clink that sounded too loud. Why did you really agree to meet me? Because I wanted to see if you'd tell me the truth about something and I leaned forward.
Rachel said this started in July at the summer party, but that's not true, is it? His face went very still. What do you mean? I mean, I've seen the phone records, Marcus. Texts between you and are going back to February.