What exactly are you claiming? Emotional investment damages." The judge dismissed it in under 5 minutes. But Astrid wasn't done. Outside the courthouse, she had arranged for Piper to be there with a camera filming her giving a speech about systemic oppression of spiritual women.
It has 12 views on Tik Tok. All from her mom's different accounts. Thursday morning brought the final boss battle. I got a call from the old apartment complex. The landlord, Rick, sounded exhausted.
Your ex-girlfriend is trying to squat in the apartment. What? She changed the locks. Says she has tenant rights. I'm having to start eviction proceedings.
She changed the locks on an apartment she's not even on the lease for. She printed some fake lease off the internet. It's obviously fake. She spelled her own name wrong. She spelled her own name wrong.
But here's where it gets beautifully stupid. Remember how I left the utilities on to be nice? Well, she never transferred them to her name. So, Thursday afternoon, I called and had them shut off. Legally, they were in my name.
I was paying for them. Within an hour, I got a call from an unknown number. It was Quinn. Turn the power back on right now. Who is this?
You know who this is? Astrid's in there with no electricity. So, she should probably leave. She's trying to run a business in an apartment she's squatting in. She's not squatting.
She's establishing residency. That's That's literally squatting. Quinn hung up. Friday, it was over. Rick called me.
Police removed her this morning. She tried to claim you were her landlord and she paid you rent, but she couldn't provide any proof because, you know, it never happened. Is she okay? She screamed something about Mercury being in microwave and then tried to sage the officers. They were very patient.
I think she meant Mercury being in retrograde, but honestly, Mercury being in microwave is funnier.
Final update. It's been two weeks since the police removed Astrid from the apartment. Here's where everyone ended up. Astrid is living with her parents now. Not with Quinn, who blocked her after the whole thing.
Not with Garrett, who disappeared completely, but back in her childhood bedroom. According to Luke, who saw her at a coffee shop, she's telling people she's taking a sabbatical from capitalism, and living with her parents, is a radical act of resistance. She's still trying to sell jewelry. Her Instagram bio now says, "Survivor, entrepreneur, cosmic warrior. She has 73 followers, down from 200.
Garrett resurfaced on social media with Destiny. They're apparently working through things, which based on the passive aggressive post they tag each other in means they're making each other miserable. He posted a long thing about how the retreat experience opened his third eye to toxic energies. Astrid commented this, and he deleted the whole post. Deb, Astrid's mom, sent me one last email last week.
I hope you're happy. My daughter is devastated. She actually thought you were the one. She was planning to propose to you on that retreat with Garrett. He was going to help her pick out rings.
You threw away something beautiful because of your silly male pride. She was going to propose on a trip with her ex, who was going to help pick out rings. I mean, what do you even say to that? I didn't respond, but I did have a good laugh with my new girlfriend, Heather. It's nice.
Met her at my new apartment complex's resident event. She thinks the whole story is hilarious. Last night, she suggested we take a self-discovery trip and then burst out laughing. But seriously, want to go to Seattle next month? Just us.
No exes. The best part, last Friday, I ran into Garrett at a bar. He was drunk and tried to bro hug me. Dude, I'm sorry about everything. Astrid's actually insane.
She tried to get me to invest in her business, too. Said we could be conscious capital partners or something. I was like, "Girl, I deliver pizzas. He delivers pizzas. The spiritual guru who is going to help her find herself delivers pizzas." "
No hard feelings," I told him and meant it. " Honestly," he did me a favor. " For real though," he continued. " She kept trying to make things weird at the retreat, like she wanted to do couples yoga and soul gazing and stuff. I just wanted to eat edibles and look at trees.
You know, the self-discovery trip was just Garrett wanting to get high in nature and Astrid trying to seduce him. Beautiful. As I'm writing this, Astrid just posted on her business page. Major announcement coming soon. Cosmic Creations is evolving into something bigger.
The announcement posted an hour later. She's adding essential oil blends to her jewelry line. The oils are just repackaged stuff from the dollar store. Piper accidentally revealed this in the comments before deleting it. Someone asked if the oils were FDA approved.
Astrid responded, "I don't subscribe to governmental oversight of natural healing." Her mom was the only one who liked the post. Looking back, the red flags were everywhere. She once tried to pay her portion of rent with a check from her future self. She believed her cat was her grandmother reincarnated.
She didn't have a cat. She tried to expense her therapy to my health insurance as a dependent life partner. She once got mad at me for dream cheating. I allegedly flirted with someone in her dream, but the ending exactly what it needed to be. She discovered herself.
All right. Discovered she's an entitled person who thought she could have her chakras aligned and her rent paid by different guys. And me? I discovered that standing up for yourself isn't vindictive. It's necessary.
Also discovered that my new apartment's water pressure is amazing. And nobody here tries to charge crystals in the microwave at 3:00 a.m. To everyone saying I should have just talked it out, I did. My response was moving out. Sometimes the best conversation is the one you don't have. To those saying I was too harsh.
She took a two-week vacation with her ex and expected me to be cool with it. The bar was underground, and she brought a shovel. And to Astrid, since I know you're reading this Deb's account, the retreat center called, "They want their meditation cushion back, the one you apparently stole. They're threatening legal action. Good luck with your cosmic consciousness.
You're going to need it for court. Peace out.