It was only the contents that had been upgraded from love potion to permanent adhesive. "Sir, I hate to break it to you, but this isn't lubricant anymore. This is industrial adhesive. Someone's replaced the contents."
The silence that followed was absolutely delicious. I could practically hear the gears turning in their heads as they tried to process what they'd just been told. Someone had sabotaged their affair supplies. But who, and how, and why?
"That's impossible," Leo said. "The tube was sealed. It came straight from Marissa's purse." "Well, unless you two decided to experiment with construction materials tonight, someone definitely tampered with this."
"The question is, who had access to it?" Oh, the delicious irony. They were literally stuck together, unable to move while trying to figure out who could have possibly known about their little secret. I almost felt bad for them. Almost.
"We need to get you to the hospital," the paramedic continued. "This kind of adhesive isn't going to come apart on its own, and we're going to need some specialized equipment to separate you safely." "Can't you just, I don't know, use some kind of solvent?" Marissa asked desperately.
"Ma'am, this stuff is designed to bond metal to concrete. It's not coming off with soap and water. We're going to need to be very careful here to avoid causing permanent damage." Permanent damage.
Those words hung in the air like a death sentence. I wondered if either of them was thinking about the metaphorical permanent damage they'd already caused or if they were too focused on the literal permanent damage they might be facing. "How are we going to get them downstairs?" another voice asked. "They can't exactly walk to the elevator like this."
"We're going to have to use a stretcher and transport them together. It's going to be awkward." Awkward was putting it mildly. I was imagining the logistics of getting two grown adults who were stuck together in the most intimate possible way down four flights of stairs and into an ambulance.
This was going to require some serious creative problem-solving. "I need both of you to try to stay as still as possible," the lead paramedic said. "Any movement could make the situation worse. We're going to cover you with a sheet and get you onto a stretcher, then transport you to the emergency room."
"What about privacy?" Leo asked. "There are going to be people in the hallway, neighbors with cameras." "Sir, I understand your concern, but right now our priority is getting you medical attention."