"Of course." I could practically hear her smiling. "I brought what you like. The good stuff."
The good stuff. My specially modified tube of Japanese lubricant, now featuring the kind of industrial adhesive that could probably hold a space shuttle together. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud. There was some rustling, probably Marissa digging through her purse, followed by what sounded like someone opening a tube.
My heart was pounding so hard I was sure they could hear it through the wall. "Perfect," Leo said. "You know how much I love it when you come prepared." Oh, buddy, I thought. You have no idea how prepared she is tonight.
I heard footsteps moving away from the door, deeper into the apartment. The voices became muffled, but I could still make out the general tone. Playful, flirtatious, building toward what they thought was going to be another successful night of adultery. I pressed my ear harder against the door, straining to hear what was coming next.
Part of me wanted to kick the door down and confront them right then and there, to see the look on their faces when they realized their little secret was out. But the other part of me, the part that had carefully replaced the contents of that tube, wanted to wait and see how this played out. The apartment went quiet for a few minutes, which probably meant they were getting down to business. I imagined Leo lying back on whatever cheap furniture he had in there, probably feeling pretty damn pleased with himself for landing a married woman who lived one floor down and brought her own supplies.
Then I heard Marissa's voice. "Just relax. This is going to be amazing." Famous last words, sweetheart.
For about 30 seconds, there was nothing but the kind of sounds you'd expect from two people who thought they were about to have the time of their lives. Some movement, some heavy breathing, the general audio backdrop of two adults about to discover that karma has a really twisted sense of humor. Then everything changed. "What the—?" Leo's voice, sharp and confused.
"Wait, something's wrong," Marissa said, and I could hear the first note of panic creeping in. "What did you do?" Leo again, his voice rising. "What the hell did you put on me?"
"I don't understand." Marissa sounded genuinely confused, which would have been funny if it wasn't so pathetic. "It's the same stuff as always. The silver tube, the Japanese brand you like."
"Well, something's wrong with it. I can't. We can't. Oh God, we're stuck."
And there it was. The moment I'd been waiting for. The sweet sound of two cheaters realizing that their night of passion had turned into a medical emergency. I pressed my face against the door, grinning like a psychopath, listening to their panic escalate.