But she wanted the stuffed cat. Did you see her face when she saw it in the store window? Wanting things and needing things are different. If you buy her everything she wants, she'll grow up expecting the world to give her whatever she asks for. And if you never buy her anything, she'll grow up believing she doesn't deserve good things.
The argument escalated, voices rising, neither of them willing to back down. Lily appeared in the doorway. Are you fighting? They both stopped. Ethan took a breath, forced his voice to be calm.
We're having a disagreement, Lilybug. Grown-ups do that sometimes. It doesn't mean we're angry at each other. Mommy and you used to disagree sometimes. Then you would hug and say sorry.
The simple observation cut through the tension. Victoria knelt down to Lily's level. Your daddy and I are still learning how to talk to each other when we disagree. But you're right. We should probably say sorry.
She looked up at Ethan. I'm sorry I didn't ask before buying her things. I should have checked with you first. Ethan sighed. I'm sorry I got frustrated.
The toys aren't really the issue. I just He struggled to articulate feelings he hadn't fully processed. I'm still figuring out what it means to have someone who wants to share responsibility for Lily. For 3 years, it was just me. Adjusting to not being alone is harder than I expected.
Victoria stood crossed to him, took his hand. Then we adjust together. We make rules about spending. We communicate before making decisions that affect Lily. We learn to be partners instead of two people orbiting the same child.
That sounds healthy. I've been in therapy for 6 months. I'm learning to communicate like an adult. Ethan laughed. Same.
Turns out years of suppressing grief creates communication issues. Who knew? They hugged. Lily watched with satisfied expression. See, that's what you're supposed to do.
You're very wise, Lilybug. I know. They attended family counseling together. not couples therapy because they weren't sure they qualified as couple yet, but sessions focused on blending their complicated histories into something that might work long term. Lily had her own therapist, child psychologist, who specialized in helping kids process loss and family transitions. After 3 months, Lily stopped asking when mommy was coming back.