Makes sense. It's the smart play. Protects both of our reputations. Gives Lily stability during transition. Then why do you look like you're about to cry?
Victoria's carefully constructed composure cracked. Because I don't want you to leave. The confession hung in the air between them. Lily was still drawing, oblivious to the adult conversation happening over her head. Victoria, I know this started as desperation.
I know I grabbed a stranger and kissed him and asked him to pretend to be my husband because I was panicking. I know none of this was supposed to be real. Her voice was shaking now, but somewhere in the past 2 weeks, it stopped feeling fake. Watching you with Lily, having someone to come home to who actually sees me instead of just seeing the CEO, waking up knowing I'm not fighting alone anymore. She looked at him directly, eyes bright with tears.
She was fighting. I don't know when it changed. Maybe it was the first night when you called me down in the service corridor. Maybe it was when you stood up to my father. Maybe it was when you protected Lily from Marcus without even thinking about it.
Victoria took shaky breath. But I know that asking you to leave feels wrong in ways I can't explain. And I know that's not fair to you because you never signed up for this. You signed up for 2 weeks of pretending, not for whatever this has become. Ethan was silent for a long moment, processing her words against his own feelings that he'd been refusing to examine too closely.
Lily. He kept his voice gentle. Can you take your drawing to your room for a few minutes? Miss Victoria and I need to have a grown-up talk. Lily looked between them with expressions suggesting she understood more than four-year-olds were supposed to understand.
Are you going to fight? No, Lilybug. We're not going to fight. We just need to talk about something important. Lily gathered her crayons with careful attention, took her drawing and her elephant, walked down the hallway to her purple room.
When her door closed, Ethan turned back to Victoria. "You're right that I didn't sign up for this. I signed up to help someone who was drowning because I know what drowning feels like and because I couldn't walk away." Victoria's expression tightened, bracing for rejection. "But you're wrong about one thing.
What? You're wrong that asking me to leave is what feels wrong? Ethan stood and walked around the counter until he was standing in front of her. What feels wrong is the idea of going back to my two-bedroom apartment and pretending these weeks didn't change everything. What feels wrong is watching Lily ask when she's going to see Miss Victoria again and not having answer.
What feels wrong is he stopped, searching for words that would make sense of feelings he'd been avoiding. I spent 3 years surviving, working three jobs, raising Lily alone, telling myself that survival was enough because hoping for more felt like betraying Sarah's memory. Victoria's eyes were locked on his face. But these two weeks watching you read to my daughter, having someone to talk to after she falls asleep, waking up, knowing I'm not carrying everything alone. These have been the first two weeks in 3 years where I wasn't just surviving, where I actually felt like I might be learning to live again.