She was so excited. Talking about first steps and first words and first everything, making plans. Carara's throat tightened. I made plans, too. The silence stretched.
Outside. Wind howled. Inside. The lamp flickered once and steadied. "His name was Thomas," Cara said suddenly.
The words came out rusty, unused. "My husband, Thomas Holloway. He was a school teacher. Loved books more than anything except," she paused. "Except me, I think, and the baby. " Jonathan waited.
We tried for 3 years. Everyone had advice, remedies, prayers. Nothing worked. She pushed food around her plate. Then last spring, finally, I started showing in June.
By August, I couldn't stop smiling. The storm pressed against the windows. Emma made a soft sound, and Jonathan shifted her to his other arm. "The baby came early," Carara continued. Her voice had gone flat, reciting facts rather than living them.
November. Something went wrong. Bleeding that wouldn't stop. Thomas rode for the doctor, but the bridge had washed out from rain. He tried to cross anyway.
She stopped, breathed, made herself say the rest. They found him downstream. The baby came while I was alone. She didn't breathe. I held her for an hour before anyone came.
She was so small, so perfect, so still. Tears ran down her face now. Silent and steady. She didn't wipe them away. I'm sorry, Jonathan said.
For all of it. I know you are. She finally looked at him. I know you understand. I do.
He reached across the table, not quite touching her hand, just close enough that she could feel the warmth. Mary took days. She held on so hard, fought so hard, but there was too much damage. And the doctor didn't get here in time either. Same story, different details.
Same ending. Yeah, his jaw tightened. Same ending. They sat in the wreckage of their separate tragedies. And somehow the sharing made the burden lighter.
Not healed, not fixed, just less solitary. Emma began to fuss, and the moment broke naturally. Cara stood to clear the dishes. Jonathan walked the baby around the room, humming tunelessly. Without Carara's skill, but with equal love.