"And he sat me down and he held my hands and he told me that if I really loved him, I'd turn it down. That a relationship meant sacrifice. That somebody always has to give something up, and it was my turn." Her voice cracked. "He made it sound so reasonable, so loving."
"And I almost did it, Marcus. I almost said yes. I had the phone in my hand to turn the job down. And then I looked at him and I realized he never once asked himself to give up anything. Not once."
"It was always going to be me. It was always going to be my dream that was negotiable and his that was sacred." Marcus felt something go cold and hard in his chest. "So I said no," Emily said. "To him, to the whole thing."
"I chose the job, and it was the loneliest, most right decision I ever made." She looked up at him, and the fury was gone now. And what was left was just the raw, exhausted truth of it. "And I swore I'd never let myself get to that place again. That place where I love somebody enough that they get a vote on the size of my life."
Her voice dropped almost to nothing. "And then I came home to build my mother's garden house. And my father found a man on the side of the road. And now here I am standing in this kitchen terrified because I'm in that place again, Marcus." "And I don't know how I got here."
The kitchen was completely silent. Marcus took a breath. "Emily," he said. "Look at me." She looked at him.
"I am not Daniel," Marcus said. "And I need you to hear this because it's the only thing I know how to give you right now that's actually true. I would never, not once, not ever ask you to be smaller so that I could feel bigger." His voice was steady, but there was heat under it. "You want to know what I've spent theโI've spent it standing up alone at 4:45 in the morning so my daughter could have a childhood."
"I know exactly what it costs to shrink your own life down for somebody else. I've done it gladly for her. And I would never, ever ask you to do that against your will. Not for me. Not for anybody."
Emily's eyes filled. "Then what are you saying?" "I'm saying take the job," Marcus said. Emily blinked. Whatever she'd braced for, it wasn't that.
"What?" "Take the job." Marcus said it again. And it cost him. God, it cost him.