Samuel asked practically. Do we have to dress up? Soon, Jonas said. And yes, you'll dress up. We'll do it simple, just family and a few witnesses at the church.
Nothing fancy. Can I pick flowers? Esther was already planning. For your hair, Miss Lena? Mama always said flowers make everything prettier.
I'd love that, Lena managed around the lump in her throat. The meal dissolved into excited chatter as the children planned and plotted. Only Maggie remained quiet, watching Lena with those too serious eyes. After breakfast, while the others scattered to their chores, Maggie approached Lena at the washbasin. You're not going to leave, are you?
The question was blunt, tinged with an edge of desperation. Even after you marry Pa? You won't decide it's too hard and go away? Lena's heart broke for this child who'd learned too young that people could disappear without warning. She knelt down to Maggie's level, taking her small hands.
I'm not going anywhere. I promise you that. Marriage is forever, Maggie. When I stand up in that church and make vows to your father, I'll be making them to all of you, too. You're stuck with me.
Good. Maggie's lips trembled. Because we need you. Ruthie tries so hard, but she's tired. And Pa, he does his best, but he can't be everything.
And the little ones, they don't remember having a mama who could make everything feel safe. Her voice dropped to a whisper. I barely remember it myself sometimes. Then we'll make new memories, Lena promised. Good ones.
Safe ones. Together. Maggie nodded, then surprised Lena by hugging her quickly before darting away, as if embarrassed by the display of emotion. The next 3 days passed in a blur of preparation. Reverend Matthews agreed to perform the ceremony that Saturday.
Lena altered one of Sarah's dresses, a simple blue cotton that fit her reasonably well with some adjustments. The children cleaned the house from top to bottom, determined everything should be perfect. Jonas rode into town for supplies and returned with a plain gold band that had belonged to his grandmother. It's not fancy, he said, showing it to Lena privately. But it's solid, like us.
Lena slipped it on her finger, testing the weight. It fit perfectly, as if it had been waiting for her. It's beautiful. Jonas reached out, tilting her chin up so she met his eyes. Are you having second thoughts?
Every minute of every day. At his stricken expression, she hurried on. But not the kind you're thinking. I'm not doubting this decision. I'm just scared I'll mess it up somehow.