Ashley told me about the Jamaica trip 3 weeks before she left. We were sitting at the kitchen table in our apartment going over the final details for our wedding. The venue was booked. The photographer was paid. The invitations had already gone out.
Our wedding was 8 weeks away. Ashley was scrolling through her phone when she suddenly looked up. I'm going to Jamaica with Marissa and Tessa. I thought she was joking. For how long?
5 days. I put my pen down. 5 days? When? Next month.
That's 6 weeks before the wedding. I know. And you're just telling me now? She frowned. We only decided recently.
I leaned back in my chair. Ashley, we have the wedding coming up. You've been stressed about everything for weeks. Now you want to fly to another country with two friends? It's a girls' trip, Jack, not some secret vacation.
I didn't say it was secret. You're acting like I need permission. That's not what I said, either. She pushed her phone across the table. Then what exactly are you saying?
I looked at her. I'm saying I don't like the timing. She folded her arms. You don't like anything that doesn't involve you. That's not true.
It is. I stayed quiet for a moment. We had been together for 5 years and engaged for 18 months. I knew Ashley well enough to recognize when an argument wasn't really about the thing we were discussing. She had been restless lately.
She complained about the wedding. She complained about work. She said she felt like every weekend was already planned for. I had tried to give her space, but hearing about a 5-day trip to Jamaica this close to our wedding made something in me tighten. Go if you want, I finally said.
She stared at me. That's it? I'm not going to stop you. But you clearly don't want me to go. No, I don't.
She shook her head. At least you're honest. I'd rather be honest than pretend I'm fine with something I'm not. She stood up. You know what?
This is exactly why I need this trip. What does that mean? I need 5 days where nobody is asking me about flowers, seating charts, deposits, or what color the bridesmaids should wear. I'm not asking you to spend every minute planning the wedding. It feels like it.
I stood, too. Ashley, if you don't want this wedding, say that. Don't turn a vacation into the problem. Her expression hardened. I want the wedding.
Then what are we fighting about? Because you don't trust me. That's not true. You just said you don't want me going. Those are two different things.
She I nodded. Then go. She looked almost surprised by my answer. You're really not going to fight me on this? No.
She waited. I could see that she expected something else. Maybe she expected me to apologize. Maybe she wanted me to tell her I couldn't live without her for 5 days. I wasn't going to do that.
If you want to go, Ashley, go, I said. But don't make me pretend I like it. She walked toward the bedroom. You're impossible. And you're going to Jamaica.