I'm not a strange man, Chris protested. I've been to your barbecues, your Christmas parties. Right. You have been to our parties where you ate my food, drank my beer, and planned how to seduce my wife. That actually makes it worse, doesn't it?
Judith was staring at her daughter with disgust. How could you do this to your family, to your marriage vows? You don't understand what it's like being married to him, Lydia said, gesturing at me. He's always working, always covered in sawdust, never wants to go anywhere or do anything exciting. So, you decided to do someone exciting instead, I said.
Problem solved. Alan shook his head. We're leaving. Judith, come on. Wait, I said.
There's more. I pulled out my phone and opened the photo gallery. Chris, you might want to see this. I showed him a picture I'd taken of his BMW in our driveway with a clear shot of his license plate. I've been documenting everything.
Dates, times, how long you stay, what you bring with you. I've got 3 weeks of evidence showing a pattern of adultery. What do you want? Chris asked. I want you to understand that your life as you know it is over.
Your girlfriend Jessica is going to find out. Your co-workers are going to find out. Your CrossFit buddies are going to find out. Everyone is going to know that Chris Brennan is the kind of man who seduces married women. You bastard.
He said, I'm the bastard. I'm not the one who's been screwing someone else's wife for 6 months. Lydia stood up, wrapping the sheet around herself. Fine. You want a divorce?
You'll get a divorce. But I'm not going to let you destroy my life over this. Your life? I laughed. Lady, you destroyed your own life the minute you brought him into our bed.
The court will see this as harassment, she said. You can't just humiliate us publicly and expect to get away with it. Actually, I can. Everything I plan to do is perfectly legal. Sharing security footage from my own home, legal.
Telling people the truth about what I witnessed, legal. Making sure everyone knows what kind of people you really are. Completely legal, Chris stood up. I'm leaving now. Sure, I said, stepping aside.
But Chris, you might want to check your car before you drive home. He pushed past me and stomped down the stairs. A minute later, we heard him screaming from the driveway. What did you do? Lydia asked.
Nothing illegal, I said. But you might want to look out the window. She went to the window and gasped. I had spray painted home wrecker across Chris's windshield in bright red letters. You can't do that.
I just did and that's just the beginning. Alan put his arm around his wife. Judith, we're going home. Lydia, don't bother calling us until you figured out how to apologize for this disgrace. After her parents left, Lydia turned to me with fury in her eyes.