He was watching the empty doorway with that expression she'd seen on the driveway, the immediate, unguarded kind, the kind that doesn't perform itself for anyone. She had seen that expression in conference rooms and on stages and across negotiating tables for years, on people who'd spent decades learning to produce it on command. She had never once seen it look the way it looked on him, which was to say like it actually meant something. She's a good kid, Sloan said. She's a weird kid, Caleb said.
I mean that as the highest possible compliment. Sloan almost smiled. I have one more thing I need to say and then I'll go, she said. I'm not coming back with job offers. That's not what this is.
I came because there are 40 people in that hanger who watched what happened and I can't fix what they saw, but I can start doing things differently and hope that eventually that matters. And I came because I needed you to know that I understand what I actually did, not just that I made an HR error, what I actually did. Caleb was quiet. What did you actually do? He said finally.
It wasn't a test. He seemed genuinely curious how she'd describe it. She thought about how to say it without making it about her. I had a man in front of me who was doing something I couldn't do myself, she said slowly. Working that hard, caring that much, and still being precise about the work.
And I think some part of me when I walked in and saw him on the floor, some part of me needed it to be weakness. Because if it was weakness, I didn't have to look at it too closely. I could just be above it. She stopped. That's not a good thing to admit, but it's what happened.
Caleb looked at her for a long moment. "That's honest," he said. "It's the least I owe you." He unfolded his arms and turned back to the stove and lifted the lid on the pot and stirred. "You should probably go," he said, not unkindly. "We're about to eat dinner, and Mia has questions about the solar system that are going to require my full attention." "Right," Sloan said.
She stood up and picked up her bag from the floor. "Thank you for letting me in. You drove across the city twice, he said. Seemed rude to leave you on the porch. She walked to the door.
She had her hand on the knob when he spoke again. Sloan. She turned. He was still facing the stove. You asked the right question on Monday when you said why I didn't wake up in time.