He said she has eyes everywhere, which I apologize for on behalf of my family. Martha was quiet for a moment. I'm going to keep working at the ranch, she said. For as long as you need me, and as long as it makes sense. But I need something of my own.
I need a place where what I build is mine. I know that, too, he said. She looked at him. I'm not going to tell you not to open your shop, he said with the flat certainty of a man who had thought about this. I'm not going to finance it or put my name on it or manage it for you.
I'm going to send you every customer I have who needs repair work and I'm going to stay out of your way while you do it. He paused. That's all. Martha felt the thing in her chest that she had been trying to be careful about expand in a way that made being careful about it much harder. Silas, she said, "Yeah, I need to ask you something and I need you to answer me honestly." He looked at her.
All right. What happens? She said. When I cannot fix something for you, he frowned. What do you mean?
She turned on the bench to face him more directly. I mean that everyone who has respected me in the last 4 months has respected me because I found a sabotaged pin before you drove off a cliff. Because I fixed a wagon and managed a fever and built a case. Because I was useful. She held his gaze steadily.
I have spent my entire life proving I deserve room by being useful. And I need to know. I need to hear you say it. That you would still choose me if all I could bring through your door was myself. He had pulled the team to a slow stop while she spoke.
Not dramatically, just gradually the way he did things without announcement. He looked at her for a long moment. "Come through my door empty-handed," he said. "And find out." "Yes, it is," he said. It's the only honest one I can give you because telling you yes in the abstract is easy.
Showing you is the thing. He looked at her with the direct unscentimental honesty that she had come to understand was his most fundamental quality. Martha, I started listening for you before I knew I was doing it. I built you a board before I admitted to myself why I was doing it. I turned around in the middle of the night and wrote 4 hours because Miguel told me someone had taken something of Henry's and I knew what that would do to you.