They don't say it to my face, but they know. The sheriff caught two of the rustlers a week later. They hang them in Great Falls. Justice served. Case closed.
But it doesn't matter because James is still dead and I'm still the brother who failed him. Norah was quiet for a long moment. Then she said something that surprised him. Did your brother know you loved him? What?
Before he died, did James know you loved him? That you'd have traded places with him in a heartbeat? That you'd give anything, your life, your soul, everything to undo that night? I Yes, of course he knew. Then you didn't fail him, Norah said firmly.
You failed yourself. Maybe you made a mistake, a terrible human mistake. But love, love, you got right, and that's the part that matters most in the end. That's not it doesn't. Silas struggled to find words.
He's still dead. Nora, my mistake, my weakness, my cowardice killed him just as surely as those bullets did. No, she said, and there was steel in her voice now. Those rustlers killed him. You being asleep didn't pull the trigger.
You being scared didn't load the gun. You made a mistake. Yes, but you're not the villain of this story, Silas. You're just the one left behind to carry guilt that isn't yours to carry. The valley doesn't see it that way.
The valley doesn't matter," Norah replied. "The Valley didn't love James. You did. And you've spent 6 years punishing yourself for being human, for having limits, for not being able to single-handedly fight off four armed men. That's not justice.
That's just cruelty." Silas felt something crack inside his chest, some barrier he'd built between himself and grief, between guilt and grace. "I should have saved him," he whispered. I should have been stronger and I should be smaller, Norah said quietly. I should take up less space, need less, be less.
But should doesn't feed the cattle, Silas. Should doesn't plant gardens or build chairs or calm angry bulls. Should is just another way to hate ourselves for not being something we never could be. She stood up from her chair, her chair, the one built for her, and came to sit beside him on the steps. In the darkness with the stars watching and the mountain wind carrying away the day's heat.