Then explain it. She hesitated. For a moment, the room was quiet enough for me to hear the refrigerator running behind her. We were close before anything happened, she finally said. He listened to me.
He made me feel like I mattered. And you decided that justified lying to your husband. No, I'm telling you how it started. I nodded slowly. How long?
She looked down at the counter. Several months. The answer didn't surprise me, but hearing her say it made the situation harder to dismiss as a single mistake. Did you love him? I don't know.
That's convenient. Jeremy, please. No, you don't get to give me half an answer and expect me to make it easier for you. She pressed her hands against the counter. I was unhappy.
I felt like we were living separate lives. Then you should have told me. I tried. When? She couldn't give me a specific example.
Instead, she returned to the same complaints about my work habits, my questions, and the fact that I wanted to know where our money was going. I let her finish. I would have listened to you, I said. I might not have agreed with everything you wanted, but I would have listened. You never gave me the chance to make that choice because you were already building a life with someone else.
Her eyes filled with tears. I didn't know how to leave. You knew how to arrange an apartment. You knew how to open an account. You knew how to move money and disappear for 5 days.
Don't tell me you couldn't find the words to tell me our marriage was over. She turned away. I felt no satisfaction in watching her cry. Whatever affection remained after 24 years, it wasn't enough to make me forget what she had done. That evening, Colin sent one final message.
Julia told me you two had been separated emotionally for years. She said the marriage was over and you were only staying together because neither of you wanted to deal with the divorce. I didn't know you were still living together as husband and wife. I read the message carefully. I couldn't know whether Colin believed that explanation or had simply chosen to accept whatever Julia told him, but his version confirmed something important.
She had given him a story in which our marriage was already finished, making it easier for him to see himself as the man who came along afterward rather than someone involved in an affair. I forwarded the message to Patricia and left it at that. The following day, Julia asked me whether we could try counseling before the divorce went any further. I looked at her across the kitchen table. Would you still be asking for counseling if I hadn't found out about Colin?
She didn't answer. Would you have told me about the apartment, about the money, about the 5 days you spent with him? I don't know. Neither do I. And that's the problem.