"I chose myself. " I said. "You were trying to decide between two men. I wasn't going to stand there waiting for the result. " She swallowed. "I never meant to hurt you. " "I know. " "Do you hate me? " "No. " That seemed to hurt her more than anger would have. "I wish you did. " "Why? " "Because then I could tell myself you were cruel. " I leaned back.
"But I'm not. " She nodded slowly. "Did you ever really love me? " "Yes. " Her eyes filled. "Then how can you walk away so easily? " "I didn't walk away easily. " She waited. "I walked away decisively. " For a moment she said nothing. Then she reached into her purse and placed a small box on the table.
I recognized it immediately. Her engagement ring. "You should have this. " she said. I looked at the box. "You're giving it back? " She nodded.
"It's yours. " I picked up the box and opened it. The ring caught the light. "I thought you'd keep it. " "I can't. " I closed the box and put it inside my jacket. Lindsay looked at me one last time. "So, that's it? " "Yes. " "No chance? " "No. " She nodded, wiping her eyes.
Then, she stood. "Goodbye, Charlie. " "Goodbye, Lindsay. " I watched her walk out. I didn't follow her. I didn't call her back. There was nothing left to say.
4 months later, my life had settled into a routine I hadn't expected. Work was better. My logistics company had landed two new clients, and I was spending more time at the warehouse instead of constantly checking my phone to see whether Lindsay had called. Mike noticed the difference before I did. "You look rested. " he said one morning.
"I am. " "Still glad you canceled? " I looked at him. "Everyday. " He laughed. "You know what the strange part is? " "What? " "The wedding date came and went. " I had almost forgotten. That Saturday, I drove past the hotel where Lindsay and I were supposed to have our reception. The parking lot was full.
People were dressed up. Cars were lined along the entrance. Music was coming from inside. I stopped at the traffic light and watched for a few seconds. Then, I drove on.
I didn't feel angry. I didn't feel like I had escaped some terrible fate, either. I simply knew I had made the right decision. That evening, I found the old wedding folder in a drawer. Inside were contracts, receipts, seating arrangements, and the canceled reservation.
At the very bottom was a handwritten note Lindsay had given me months earlier. It said, "I can't wait to become your wife. " I read once. Then I folded it and put it back. Her words had been true when she wrote them. That was the part I'd finally accepted.
People can mean something when they say they love you and still make a choice that destroys your trust. The problem wasn't that Lindsey had a past. It wasn't even that David came back. The problem was that she wanted to know whether she still wanted him while already planning to marry me. And after sleeping with him, she came home and told me she could be my wife now.
I almost smiled at the absurdity of it. She thought the night with David had given her closure. It gave me mine. I never needed revenge. I never contacted David again.
I never told our friends every detail. I simply canceled the wedding and walked away. Months later, when someone asked why I never got married, I gave the same answer every time. I was engaged once. What happened?
I would shrug. She needed closure with someone else. Then I'd change the subject. Because the truth was simple.
Lindsey wanted to know whether she could choose me after choosing another man. I didn't wait for the answer. I made my own choice. And that was the wedding I never regretted canceling.