You're a remarkable person, she said. Marcus shook his head. I'm an ordinary person in a hard situation. There's a difference. I don't think there is, she said.
I think how you carry a hard situation is everything. Marcus looked at her. He hadn't expected to be having a real conversation tonight. He hadn't expected to be sitting across from a woman who was sharp and honest and a little bit lost in a way that felt completely human. He'd expected nothing from the evening except the walk home in the rain.
And now he was here and the rain was still falling outside and across the restaurant. Vivien Bennett was still sitting at her table like a queen waiting for the court to come back into session. And Marcus was not thinking about his bills. He was thinking about this woman across from him. The way she'd been performing her life for so long that she'd forgotten what it felt like to just be in it.
They're going to come over, he said. I know. You ready for that? Clare looked at her tea, then at her hands, then at him. No, she said, but I don't think ready is something I get to be tonight.
Okay. Marcus sat up straight. Then just be honest. That's all you've got. What if honest isn't enough?
It's the only thing that ever actually is. She met his eyes. What do I say to her? Marcus thought about it for a moment. You say what's true, he said.
You say I can't give you an answer tonight. Not a real one. Not one that means anything. And then you let her feel however she feels about that. He paused.
She's going to be angry. She's going to be more than angry. Probably. He held her gaze. But the thing about anger is it's just a feeling.
It passes. Decisions that you make because you were afraid of someone else's anger. Those stick around a lot longer. Clare was quiet. Were you always like this?
She said finally. Like what? This steady? Marcus laughed. A short genuine one.
No, no, I was not. He shook his head. You catch me on a good night. I don't know. Sitting in a restaurant alone on a rainy Friday about to go home to a stack of bills.