But hard doesn't mean stopped. Hard means you carry it and you keep going. She didn't say anything, but something in her posture shifted the specific shift of a person who came in ready for a fight and found. Instead, something they couldn't argue with. After a moment, she asked about Maya.
Marcus told her the science fair, the dog campaign, the math teacher incident, the book Maya was currently reading that was four grade levels above where she was supposed to be. Sandra listened. Her face went softer because whatever else was complicated, Maya was the thing they both loved without complication, and that was always the solid ground between them. When Sandra left 40 minutes later, it wasn't resolved. These things never fully resolved.
They just found a sustainable level. But she hugged him at the door, which she hadn't done in over a year, and Marcus took that as a sign that something had moved. He stood in the empty waiting area after she drove away. Desawn reappeared from the back. "You good?" he said.
"Yeah," Marcus said. "I'm good." He pulled out his phone. He almost called Olivia. He stopped himself because he needed to sit with this for a minute before he handed it to someone else to carry. That was something he was still learning the difference between sharing and transferring, between letting someone in and making them responsible for your weight.
He sat down in the waiting area chair. He thought about Renee. He thought about the night. She told him the diagnosis, how they'd sat in the kitchen for 3 hours. After Maya went to sleep and just talked about everything, about nothing, about what they were afraid of, and what they refused to be afraid of.
He thought about how she had taken his hand at some point and said, "Don't let her forget me, but don't let her be haunted either." He thought about how he'd said, "I won't." And how he had meant both things. He was keeping that promise. He was sure of that. He picked up his phone and called Olivia. "Something happened," he said when she answered.
"Tell me," she said. He told her all of it. Sandra's unexpected visit. What she said, how he answered, how it ended. He didn't ask Olivia to respond to it.
He didn't want a verdict or a solution. He just told her and she listened. And when he finished, she was quiet for a moment and then said, "That must have been hard for her and for you." Yeah. He said, "It was. You handled it right." She said, "The way you talked about Renee, that's not something you apologize for." I know.
He said, "I just he stopped. I want you to know that what I had with Renee doesn't make this less real. It's not a competition. They don't cancel each other out. A pause.
Marcus Olivia said quietly. I know that. I've never thought any different. He exhaled. Okay.