He'd lost Renata 3 years ago. Pancreatic cancer diagnosed in October and by February she was gone. The speed of it was the part Caleb still couldn't fully process even now. One season to the next and everything changed. He had stood in the kitchen of their small house on a Wednesday morning in late February with Mia asleep upstairs and looked at the coffee maker gurgling through its cycle and thought with absolute clarity, "I have to learn how to do everything."
So he had he had learned braids and school pickup schedules and which brands of juice boxes Mia preferred and how to make the specific kind of pasta she would actually eat and the names of all her classmates and the complicated social dynamics of third grade friendships that could shift entirely in a single afternoon recess. He had done all of this while continuing to work because the mortgage existed and the health insurance existed and Mia needed things continuously in the way that children do. He was 32 years old and he had been running on inadequate sleep for 3 years and he was despite all evidence to the contrary on that particular Monday morning very good at his job. He had started at Asterion 14 years ago at 18 straight out of a 2-year technical program that he had attended on a partial scholarship while working evenings at a machine shop. He'd come in at entry level and learned from anyone willing to teach him.
He had an instinct for mechanical systems, not just for understanding how they worked, but for hearing when something was beginning to go wrong. The particular pitch of a component under stress. The way a pressure reading would sit two points below nominal, and most people would accept it, and Caleb would pull it apart, looking for what was already failing. Over the years, he had quietly resolved somewhere in the neighborhood of a dozen situations that could have become serious problems. He had never described this as heroic.
He had never framed it that way to himself or anyone else. It was simply what the work required and he did it. The credit for those situations had without exception traveled to whoever was managing him at the time. This was not malicious in most cases. It was organizational gravity.
A manager writes the report. The report carries the manager's name. The mechanic who spent the night on the floor gets a modest performance note in a file that nobody reads. Caleb understood this and had accepted it the way he accepted most things, with the practical intelligence of a man who had never had the luxury of making grievance a priority. He drove home that Monday morning in his truck, which was 12 years old and had a heater that worked only on the passenger side.
He sat in the driveway for a few minutes without going inside. Not because he was devastated exactly. He had known at some level that the company was running the way companies run and that people like him existed in a specific stratum of invisibility. What had rattled him wasn't the firing. It was the laughter.
The particular quality of it, the performance, the way she had looked around to make sure people were watching before she said the thing about managing personal lives that had found something in him and bruised it in a place that didn't usually bruise anymore. He went inside and made Mia her breakfast and drove her to school and came back and slept for 5 hours. When he woke up, he made a phone call to his friend Garrett, who had a small workshop on the east side of the city and had been asking Caleb for years to come work with him independently. "I'm done at Asterion," Caleb said. Garrett was quiet for a moment.
"What happened?" "I'll tell you later." "Okay," Garrett said. "You want to come in tomorrow?" "Yeah," Caleb said.