"What's going on?" he asked. "I need to talk to you about something." "Okay." They walked for a few minutes in silence, Elena babbling in the stroller. Then Lena stopped and turned to face him. "I kissed you the other night," she said, "and you said we should figure out the rest first, but I've been thinking, and I don't think we can figure out the rest without talking about this.
Ethan looked at her carefully. Okay, so let's talk about it. I don't know what I'm feeling. I don't know if it's love or gratitude or just exhaustion, but I know that when I'm with you, I feel less alone.
And when you're not there, I miss you. And that scares me. Why does it scare you? Because I've spent my entire life building walls, and you're making me want to tear them down.
And I don't know what happens if I do that and you leave. Ethan stepped closer. I'm not going to leave, Lena. You can't promise that.
Yes, I can. Because I've had a hundred chances to walk away, and I haven't. And I'm not going to start now. Lena felt tears prick at her eyes again.
What if I'm not good at this? What if I screw it up? Then we figure it out together, just like we've been doing. Is that what you want?
To figure it out together? Ethan looked at her, and for the first time she saw something in his eyes that made her heart skip. Yeah, he said quietly. That's what I want.
Lena took a breath. Then she stepped forward and kissed him again. This time he didn't pull away. When they finally broke apart, Elena was staring up at them, wide-eyed.
She's judging us, Ethan said. Lena laughed. She's 3 months old. She doesn't know what judging is.
You sure about that? They started walking again, this time with Ethan's hand in hers. It felt strange, new, but also right. So what now?
Lena asked. Now we take it one day at a time. That's not much of a plan. It's the only one I've got.
Lena smiled. Good enough. The transition from co-parents to something more wasn't smooth. Ethan had expected that.
What he hadn't expected was how terrifying it would be. It started small. Dinners together after Elena went to sleep. Lena showing up at his apartment on weekends with coffee and bagels.
Ethan staying over more nights than not, sleeping on the couch until one night Lena asked him to stay in her room. Just to sleep, she said quickly. I'm not We don't have to I know, Ethan said. Just to sleep.
They lay on opposite sides of the bed, a careful distance between them. Ethan stared at the ceiling, acutely aware of every breath she took. This is weird, Lena whispered. Yeah.
I don't know how to do this. Me neither. She rolled over to face him. What if we're making a mistake?
Ethan turned to look at her. What if we're not? Lena reached out and took his hand. They fell asleep like that, fingers intertwined.
The next morning, Ethan woke up to find Lena already awake watching him. That's creepy, he said. You snore. I do not.
You absolutely do. Ethan sat up, rubbing his face. How long have you been awake? About an hour.
Elena woke up, I fed her, put her back down. You slept through the whole thing. Sorry. Don't be.
You looked peaceful. Ethan looked at her, this woman who'd turned his entire life upside down. She was wearing an old T-shirt, her hair messy, no makeup. She looked nothing like the polished CEO the world saw.
She looked real. What? Lena asked. Nothing.
Just thinking. About what? About how weird this is, and how right it feels at the same time. Lena smiled.
Yeah. I know what you mean. They spent the morning together, making breakfast while Elena watched from her bouncer. Ethan burned the eggs.
Lena salvaged them. They ate on the couch, Elena between them, and for a moment everything felt normal, like they were a real family. Then Mia called. Dad, where are you?
Ethan checked the time. 9:30. At Lena's. Why?
You were supposed to drive me to Sarah's house this morning. Remember? Ethan's stomach dropped. He'd completely forgotten.
Right, yeah, I'm sorry. I'll be there in 20 minutes. Make it 15. I'm already late.
She hung up. Ethan stood, already grabbing his keys. What's wrong? Lena asked.
I forgot I was supposed to drive Mia somewhere. I need to go. Okay. Do you want to take Elena?
Ethan hesitated. Can you keep her? Just for a few hours? Of course.
He kissed Lena quickly, kissed Elena on the forehead, and rushed out the door. When he got home, Mia was waiting on the front steps, arms crossed. Sorry, Ethan said, unlocking the car. You forgot about me.
I didn't forget about you. I just lost track of time. Mia got in the car and slammed the door. You were with them.
Yeah, I was with them. Do you live there now or something? No, I just stayed over. So you live there sometimes.
Ethan started the car. Mia, what's this about? Nothing. Forget it.
It's not nothing. Talk to me. Mia stared out the window. I just feel like you're always with them now, and I'm just here.
Ethan's chest tightened. That's not true. It feels true. Mia, you're my daughter.
You come first, always. Then why does it feel like I'm second? Ethan pulled the car over. He turned to face her, and he could see tears in her eyes.
You are not second, he said firmly. You will never be second. I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. I'm trying to balance everything, and I'm doing a terrible job, but you are my priority.
You always have been. Then why are you always there and not here? Because Elena needs me, too. And so does Lena.
And I don't? That's not what I said. It's what you meant. Ethan took a breath.
Mia, I know this is hard. I know everything's changed, and it's not fair to you. But I need you to understand something. Me being there for Elena doesn't mean I'm not here for you.
I can be both. Can you, though? Because it doesn't feel like it. Ethan didn't have an answer for that.
Because maybe she was right. Maybe he had been spreading himself too thin. Maybe he'd been so focused on proving to Lena that he wouldn't leave that he'd forgotten to prove it to Mia, too. I'll do better, he said quietly.