I told myself the power dynamic made it complicated. I told myself a hundred rational things, and all of those things were true, Malcolm. And none of them were the real reason." She held his gaze. The real reason was that I was scared.
Because the last time I let someone in that far, he left by letter, and I was not sure I could survive that twice. Malcolm was quiet for a long moment. The pool light had come on. Somewhere in the distance, a door opened and closed. 3 years, he said.
3 years, she confirmed. You've been carrying this for 3 years. Yes. He exhaled slowly, not frustrated, not overwhelmed. Processing.
He was a man who'd learned to sit with hard things without flinching. And this was a hard thing delivered with precision and honesty, and it deserved the same in return. I need you to understand something, he said carefully. When Denise died, I shut a door. I did it deliberately because I had a son who needed me whole, and the only way I knew how to stay whole was to not risk that particular kind of breaking again.
He looked at her. That door has been shut for 6 years. That's not a small thing. I know, she said. And I am not someone who does anything halfway.
That's not who I am. So if I open that door, I open it all the way. And that means Jaden is part of the conversation. That means this isn't something we figure out quietly on the side. That means it's real.
I know, she said again. Her voice was steady. I'm not asking you for fast. I'm not asking you for easy. I'm just asking you to not close it before we see what's on the other side.
Malcolm looked at her for a long time. Then he said, "You funded 15 families anonymous, 3 years running." "Yes, you remembered Jaden's birthday." She blinked. "You noticed that you brought him cupcakes in September.
You said it was for the office, but nobody else in that office knew it was his birthday." I checked. Something moved across Viven's face, caught. And behind that, something fragile and fierce at the same time. "Okay," he said quietly.
"Here's what I know. I know that you are not who I thought you were 3 months ago. Not less, more. I know that what you did on that beach yesterday was wrong and also under everything, human. I know that I have thought about you in ways I wasn't admitting for longer than I'm going to say out loud tonight."